Technology.... The Sequel

I feel bad that I haven't had more to post here. I started this blog to make a record of the moronic things I do but lately... I haven't done that much. HOWEVER! I do have a follow-up to the previous entry.


When we left off I learned that the months of having to strategically aiming my remote at my TV to adjust the volume/turn it off/etc were wasted because I hadn't been hitting the buttons hard/long enough. It made my lazy life that much easier.

SO! As of late I've noticed the low battery light coming on and kind of ignored it because the remote still worked. Why track down batteries for something that still works. Made sense in my head. Last night I finally said the hell with it and found some.

Here's what I now know... I've had this TV since November. Since then I've had to REALLY aim the remote to do anything including bouncing the signal off the ceiling so it hits the cable box. Apparently, the batteries in the remote were bad this whole time... When I put the new ones in I didn't have to aim anything... I could point it anywhere and the box would respond as well as the TV. Five months of adjusting to aiming my remote a certain way to do anything and all I needed was new batteries.

Makes you feel really smart, let me tell you.

So THAT'S how technology works...

I have a fairly new TV (purchased in late November) and I've had to adjust to how certain features work on it since my last TV was fairly old. All this time I thought the sensor was kind of limited since I would need to AIM MY REMOTE DIRECTLY AT IT in order for the TV to respond. Most of the time trying three or four times for it to work.

It's March now. Basically three months of full use.

Today I accidentally turned my TV on by rolling over on the remote while getting up. The remote wasn't anywhere near facing the TV... It turns out the sensor has an AMAZING range and I wasn't holding the buttons down long enough... Potentially hours wasted re-aiming the remote to do something since I wasn't holding the buttons down long enough.

This is my life.

Entry 3: Multitasking

Sometimes I'll cook breakfast for the family. I enjoy breakfast probably more than any other meal and I feel bad if I don't make enough to share. Today was one of those days when I was up early so I cooked exactly what my sister had wanted; corned beef hash, bacon, egg. Everything was going smoothly with the hash and egg in the skillet, the bacon in the microwave since I was feeling lazy today. I set the bacon in the fridge to help it get crispier (don't ask me how it works, I just know it does) and I figured while everything else was finishing up I'd run out and bring in the three pieces of clothes in the dryer. Upon returning to the stove I saw the egg was done so I got my trusty spatula, scooped up the egg and waked over to put it on the plate. The plate that I couldn't find. Meanwhile the egg was apparently stabbed by the spatula at some point so it's dripping yolk everywhere. Twenty seconds and a lot of mess later I realized I had moved the plate and all was right in my little world.

Except for the yolk I had to clean off the stove, floor, counter, sink, dish drainer, dishes.

Entry 2: I'm as jumpy as my cat

Thought it'd be fun to watch Frozen with my mom since we've been having a fun, but bad, ice/snow storm since the weekend. "Hey, we've got a lot of snow outside and are trapped in the same place! Let's watch a movie where people are trapped in snow!"

That alone would be a stupid thing since I had heard how stupid it was.


After it was over I thought I'd give the mailbox a look since I've been going through IHaven'tGottenAPackageInAWeekeitus and the roads are starting to get clear. While at the mailbox I took a step and heard a sound I can only describe as a growl. An animal growl.* I turned suddenly and looked around, not seeing anything around. I may or may not have uttered a, "huuuuuuuuh?" It may or may not have been in a worried tone. I scampered back into the house and realized the sound was a piece of ice sliding on our ice yard. Ice that had broken free from me stepping on the sheet around the box.


I scared myself from a sliding piece of ice caused by my walking.


* Note: Movie has one of the characters eaten by wolves.Spoilers.

Entry 1.5: Quick one.

As you may have noticed over there -> I have a couple of Google ads up. I don't expect to make any money from this whole thing, but it's handy to see how many times the ads are viewed.

Just now I was looking at the blog(s) and saw the ads weren't popping up. This boggled me. I checked my Adsense account, checked the HTML code for posting the ad. Everything seemed right.

Five minutes later I gave up and figured it was a glitch that would hopefully fix itself. That glitch turned out to be me forgetting to turn my ad-blocker off.

:|

Entry 1: Let's play catch-up

I'm going to try updating this as it happens so listing dates won't be necessary, however I do have some things to jot down that happened before this blog was started. I doubt entries will be as long as this one... I hope not at least.

Today: I had been woken up by a phone call informing me my mom's birthday present couldn't be delivered on time thanks to mother nature. When the call was over I decided to stay up, slipping my phone into my pants pocket. That is... I would have if my pocket hadn't been blocked by a button. (If I mention these were lounge pants would you get where this is going?) I went into the den, talked about things with the family and commented on how it was weird having buttons on pockets after trying to get my phone in them again. Immediately after this I realized why my mom had been smiling so much.

Turns out, boys and girls, my pants had gotten twisted in my sleep and I had been trying to slip my phone into the front flap of my pants. More than once. Even while trying to undo the button. Everyone got a laugh, my mom even crying (from the event she says, but I think at how dumb her only son is) and I adjusted my pants, finding the real pocket.

Last week: I had woken up and rolled over, feeling a sharp pain in my upper left chest. I thought I had pinched myself on my already cracking lap desk so I shrugged it off and went about my day. Sometime later I had moved and as my arm brushed against my chest the pain returned. When rubbing the area through my shirt I noticed a strange bump/lump and exclaimed to myself these phrases:
Me: What is that... A lump? IS THAT A LUMP?!?!
The cat: :|
Me: (Feeling it more) CAN GUYS GET BREAST CANCER?!?! (I know they can) OH GOD AM I GOING TO GET CANCER??!
The cat: |:
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD!! (Running to the bathroom now and removing my shirt to get a look at this) AHHHHHoh... That's only a zit.

So I popped it and the pain went away. The end.

Entry 0: Why is this here?

We all do stupid things. Sometimes they're funny. Sometimes they're embarrassing. If you're lucky they're both. I seem to do more than my fair share of embarrassing myself but always tell others when I do. Why? They find humor in it. Lately I've noticed I've been on a roll of "Hurr durr do I have a  brain?" so I figured why not keep a record. Just know; I plan to post all of my embarrassing/stupid acts. Some might be mild while others D: worthy.

I doubt anyone will find this let alone read it,but if you do I hope you get some laughs. This is primarily for me to look back on, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope some people read it and were entertained. Only time will tell if I grow bored of this or not so let's enjoy it while it lasts!

Love,
Alonso