Entry 1: Let's play catch-up

I'm going to try updating this as it happens so listing dates won't be necessary, however I do have some things to jot down that happened before this blog was started. I doubt entries will be as long as this one... I hope not at least.

Today: I had been woken up by a phone call informing me my mom's birthday present couldn't be delivered on time thanks to mother nature. When the call was over I decided to stay up, slipping my phone into my pants pocket. That is... I would have if my pocket hadn't been blocked by a button. (If I mention these were lounge pants would you get where this is going?) I went into the den, talked about things with the family and commented on how it was weird having buttons on pockets after trying to get my phone in them again. Immediately after this I realized why my mom had been smiling so much.

Turns out, boys and girls, my pants had gotten twisted in my sleep and I had been trying to slip my phone into the front flap of my pants. More than once. Even while trying to undo the button. Everyone got a laugh, my mom even crying (from the event she says, but I think at how dumb her only son is) and I adjusted my pants, finding the real pocket.

Last week: I had woken up and rolled over, feeling a sharp pain in my upper left chest. I thought I had pinched myself on my already cracking lap desk so I shrugged it off and went about my day. Sometime later I had moved and as my arm brushed against my chest the pain returned. When rubbing the area through my shirt I noticed a strange bump/lump and exclaimed to myself these phrases:
Me: What is that... A lump? IS THAT A LUMP?!?!
The cat: :|
Me: (Feeling it more) CAN GUYS GET BREAST CANCER?!?! (I know they can) OH GOD AM I GOING TO GET CANCER??!
The cat: |:
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD!! (Running to the bathroom now and removing my shirt to get a look at this) AHHHHHoh... That's only a zit.

So I popped it and the pain went away. The end.

Entry 0: Why is this here?

We all do stupid things. Sometimes they're funny. Sometimes they're embarrassing. If you're lucky they're both. I seem to do more than my fair share of embarrassing myself but always tell others when I do. Why? They find humor in it. Lately I've noticed I've been on a roll of "Hurr durr do I have a  brain?" so I figured why not keep a record. Just know; I plan to post all of my embarrassing/stupid acts. Some might be mild while others D: worthy.

I doubt anyone will find this let alone read it,but if you do I hope you get some laughs. This is primarily for me to look back on, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope some people read it and were entertained. Only time will tell if I grow bored of this or not so let's enjoy it while it lasts!

Love,
Alonso